[ He doesn't really understand what she's upset about or what she's feeling. He might, once she explains more; he's keener on human nature than he lets on. But right now, she just isn't making any sense, as far as he can tell. ]
Worse? I don't know, I - there's plenty of people, so many people, that wouldn't have gotten through it at all, let alone come out of it so...nice. They've got doctors just for talking people through one-time stuff you've just been chugging through for - for too long, I don't know.
How are you just walking around every day...calmly?
[ He's glad that he helps. He's glad that he's a helper now, that he's doing good work, that whatever he was, whatever he'd done, he can add something positive. And he's glad Misty thinks so. He'd hate if she got assigned to him and thought she couldn't get her deal by helping him. ]
I don't think planning something like this is possible, or it'd do me much good. I get the impression there's a lot of talking, actually, as graduations go. And I don't wanna smother you, so- I don't know. Checking in during floods and all is common sense, I already see you in the greenhouse plenty...could add a tea day or something in, if you wanted? Set up a routine.
[ All of those things are things he'd like, and while he's not sure what's going to get worked out in their talking- ]
You won't smother me. I like spending time with you. I don't-
[ Since she's mentioning it. ]
I don't like being alone. I'm not used to it.
[ At first there'd been the brothel with over a dozen mothers and his Mama and his father. Then there'd been the Tumbleweeds with the little kids always around. Then there'd been the lab and the Army and then the villages that he'd work at to make his way. Finally, there'd been his cats and his work with Section III. He doesn't do well with being alone, but he doesn't like to bother people. The problem being that there isn't really huge amounts of work to do here. And he doesn't want to get in the way.
I'm in the same boat, so that works out well at least?
[It's a relief, though he still ought to interact with some variety. It takes a village, so on.]
And we'll work on networking. There's not a lot of organized stuff to get involved with, but find some nonviolent types for you to hang out with. Nice as it'd be to hog your time, wouldn't be fair to everyone else.
[ He doesn't want to bother anyone, and he doesn't feel that other people should be put out in order to help him. Their kindness... he doesn't deserve it.]
You're attentive, you're patient, you're helpful, and you're kind. That last one's gotta count for a lot more than it might feel like on a ship like this. Ain't always about trading, being likable and around is a lot for people. 'S a lot for me, and I like you plenty.
[Her mouth is already opening to reply by the time he finishes the statement, and it takes her aback a moment. It would any day, but with the context so fresh it hits harder. She is achingly fond, and nearly honored.]
Well.
Don't think that makes me too kind, I think you're just not used to people treating you decently. I'm - that's good, though. The last bit. You're not far from it yourself. All the more reason for me to make sure you get home safe and sound quick as I can.
I'd like to think so, hm? Or he knew I'd never stop giving any other warden grief if they got you. I'm glad for either.
Let me know if I'm ever pushy, going forward. Promise. Because I'm gonna push, I can't risk you-- ending up like everyone else, but a breaking point is a breaking point, and I'd hate myself if you felt differently about me by the time we're done.
I mean - overly so. You're strong and I'm not gonna waste time for just anything when the stakes are so high, pushing is my job here. I just mean, like...
I don't know! Touch a raw nerve you're just not quite ready to prod at yet, let me know. Don't let me make something worse instead of better. I think part of the challenge for me is supposed to be pacing it alright.
[A squeeze, or the best she can manage when there's no hope of arms actually getting around him. An attempt at self-awareness need be made, is all. She seems to have a more gung-ho spirit about redemption than most, however similar the method.]
[ That's a firm headshake back, Misty. A very firm one. For one, he doesn't happen to think that trying to help him could be too pushy. Maybe that's just his life experience but maybe it's just that he believes in people pursuing what their hearts tell them truly. ]
That's a lot of trust, and I'm touched, and I hope you're right! I just want to be sure there's a check and balance. Pairings aren't just me bossing you around, it's a team effort. I can push, but not steamroll.
We're gonna be good at this. None of the big dramatics or hurting each other some people get up to. Clean break. We're a team.
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[ He doesn't really understand what she's upset about or what she's feeling. He might, once she explains more; he's keener on human nature than he lets on. But right now, she just isn't making any sense, as far as he can tell. ]
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How are you just walking around every day...calmly?
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Once you've seen all the ways the world can be terrible, I think...
I think you either decide to be part of those terrible things. Or you decide that you want to make the world however much less terrible you can.
I... try. To be that second one.
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You're...I don't know, something.
[His poor neck; she will release him.] And you do, you know. You're a helper. It's not for nothing.
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[ He's glad that he helps. He's glad that he's a helper now, that he's doing good work, that whatever he was, whatever he'd done, he can add something positive. And he's glad Misty thinks so. He'd hate if she got assigned to him and thought she couldn't get her deal by helping him. ]
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I don't think planning something like this is possible, or it'd do me much good. I get the impression there's a lot of talking, actually, as graduations go. And I don't wanna smother you, so- I don't know. Checking in during floods and all is common sense, I already see you in the greenhouse plenty...could add a tea day or something in, if you wanted? Set up a routine.
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[ All of those things are things he'd like, and while he's not sure what's going to get worked out in their talking- ]
You won't smother me. I like spending time with you. I don't-
[ Since she's mentioning it. ]
I don't like being alone. I'm not used to it.
[ At first there'd been the brothel with over a dozen mothers and his Mama and his father. Then there'd been the Tumbleweeds with the little kids always around. Then there'd been the lab and the Army and then the villages that he'd work at to make his way. Finally, there'd been his cats and his work with Section III. He doesn't do well with being alone, but he doesn't like to bother people. The problem being that there isn't really huge amounts of work to do here. And he doesn't want to get in the way.
Not to mention his recent problem.]
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[It's a relief, though he still ought to interact with some variety. It takes a village, so on.]
And we'll work on networking. There's not a lot of organized stuff to get involved with, but find some nonviolent types for you to hang out with. Nice as it'd be to hog your time, wouldn't be fair to everyone else.
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[ He doesn't want to bother anyone, and he doesn't feel that other people should be put out in order to help him. Their kindness... he doesn't deserve it.]
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[It would defeat the purpose!]
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[ That... goes for a lot of things, really. ]
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You're kind. Too kind. I just... you seem like- [ he almost realizes it as he says it ] a Tumbleweed to me. Like a sister.
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Well.
Don't think that makes me too kind, I think you're just not used to people treating you decently. I'm - that's good, though. The last bit. You're not far from it yourself. All the more reason for me to make sure you get home safe and sound quick as I can.
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No, it doesn't make you too kind, you're right.
It means you... understand.
[ She understands the ethos of district zero, he thinks. There's a feeling that's just right when they talk. That makes sense.]
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Why isn't there an affectionate version of 'them's fighting words'? It settles a moment, gears visibly turning.]
Well, I--
[...drawing a blank, it would seem. Here goes a second hug, in lieu of elaboration.]
I'm glad. Proud. Hopeful it'll help us along, some.
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Probably. That's probably why the Admiral assigned us together.
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Let me know if I'm ever pushy, going forward. Promise. Because I'm gonna push, I can't risk you-- ending up like everyone else, but a breaking point is a breaking point, and I'd hate myself if you felt differently about me by the time we're done.
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Pushy?
[ See Alice, Ursula, and literally everyone else he spends time with, considers family, or otherwise values. ]
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I don't know! Touch a raw nerve you're just not quite ready to prod at yet, let me know. Don't let me make something worse instead of better. I think part of the challenge for me is supposed to be pacing it alright.
[A squeeze, or the best she can manage when there's no hope of arms actually getting around him. An attempt at self-awareness need be made, is all. She seems to have a more gung-ho spirit about redemption than most, however similar the method.]
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You won't be.
I'd tell you. But you won't be.
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We're gonna be good at this. None of the big dramatics or hurting each other some people get up to. Clean break. We're a team.
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No. I'm never-
I'd never want to hurt anyone. Especially not you or any of the wardens here.
[ When she mentions a team, he can't help but grin a little, if sadly. ]
A unit.
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Exactly that, yeah. A unit.